Well, weekly posts, I suppose, are better than none at all.  I'm still just waiting.... sitting here, waiting for something miraculous to happen to me.  But I'm not doing anything to make it happen.  Just sitting here, waiting, wishing, wanting.....  Don't even know what I want, I just know that I don't have it.  I'm still just ticking off the days, waiting.....  for what?  Sunday after Sunday, I use the excuse that I don't have enough money to spend on gas driving so far to go to church.  And I haven't found a church anywhere close by to go to.  I know that getting out in the world makes me feel better, and I know that I need to congregate with other believers, but when I'm here at home, I don't feel like going out.  It doesn't seem worth the effort.  I have to wear decent clothes, put in my contacts, wash my hair, etc.  What a  stupid trap I have fallen into.  I hate work, but I hate staying at home all the time too.  I know I could do something better than working in a school cafeteria, but I'm not putting forth any effort to do anything else.  I know I could be having an easier time making ends meet financially if I finish the elaborate paperwork I need to do in order to get SSI for Jennifer, but I'm not doing it.  Wow, I think I will just go to bed.  Sleeping is my answer for most of life's difficulties.  Sleeping and eating.